The art of despond |

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The art of despond

July 30, 2009 by Stephen Davenport

Given that the last post was lengthy to say the least, let’s take a breather today. A sorbet between stodgier courses, if you like.

Mind you, I’m not sure how light, fluffy and refreshing a paragraph or two about Goths is going to be.

I don’t generally associate Goths with interior design but that’s very narrow-minded of me. I should imagine they cheerily wield a roller, brush and paint thinners along with the best of us. Well, perhaps not cheerily. And I imagine not with a tin of Magnolia satin or Pale Aubergine eggshell.

Here’s an appropriately moody bedroom design that’s fetched up in ‘The Sims’:

goth angel teen bedroom

It’s the “Gothic Teen Angel Bedroom”. Perfect for that Gothic Teen Angel in your life. Nice and sombre, isn’t it?

Here’s a black-and-blood-red number that would fulfill its underworldly brief if it were not for one thing. Can you spot what it is?

goth bedroom

That’s right — too much light. There are windows, for goodness’ sake, affording a generous view of a perfectly agreeable looking balcony and garden. Even if that is a mist of drizzle I espy, the atmosphere is nowhere near sufficiently chthonic.

To achieve an appropriate level of stygian gloom, we need those curtains dragged across. Or how about a tasteful pair like this? Spotted on ebay:

goth curtains 2

A perfect combination of red, black and grey, and of grinning skulls and corrupted roses. They are, of course, The Drapes of Goth.

Come on, you knew that was coming.

10 Responses

on July 30, 2009 at 8:08 am | Reply the girl with the pink teacup

First, it was The Grapes of Wrath…
Then, we had The Crepes of Roth…
Now, we’ve got The Drapes of Goth…

Next, The Tapes of Broth?

Goodness knows what you’re hiding on those, G Henry.
on July 30, 2009 at 8:23 am | Reply G. Henry

Hmmmm…. ‘tapes’ you say…. [strokes pipe thoughtfully]
on July 30, 2009 at 10:11 am | Reply Simon

Haha. I rather like the top one. It has a kind of mortuary feel to it. And nice pictures! I think I could go for a room like that. If nothing else, it’s peaceful.
on July 30, 2009 at 10:48 am | Reply G. Henry

Simon: the more I look at the blue/purple number the more I agree with you. In fact, the last glance conjured the sound of some gentle and soothing Pachelbelian or Buxtehudean solo organ in my brains.

I’d avoid the jarring skull-and-rose motif, though.
on July 30, 2009 at 12:29 pm | Reply Eric

Hahha… Goths

‘If I was born in the 16th century, I wouldn’t have to Turtle-wax the van!’

– some comedian on SNL

I wonder what ‘Visigothic’ decor would imply?
on July 30, 2009 at 4:39 pm | Reply Soda & Candy

Drapes of Goth.

I think I heart you, G Henry.

Also, you might like this: http://www.gothsinhotweather.com/ .
on July 30, 2009 at 4:39 pm | Reply Soda & Candy

Also, might I suggest Apes of Froth?

: )
on July 31, 2009 at 10:41 am | Reply tennyson ee hemingway

I actually quite like the red room (redrum, redrum), even with the dappled sunlight shining through the mist. Who said Goths have to stay indoors all the time? They might like a little stroll on the balcony. In the rain. In winter. In a hood. The Capes of Frost perhaps?
on August 2, 2009 at 1:35 pm | Reply G. Henry

@ S & C and t ee h: Doh! Nice. I shall not be able t slip too many more of these past people in the future, eh?

Thanks for the hot weather goths, too. Goths with umbrellas always look wrong, too.

@ eric: Now then, Visigothic elan would be well worth visualizing…
on August 7, 2009 at 4:36 pm | Reply Dagnabbit

If you aren’t prone to depression, waking up in one of those rooms would def put you over the edge. Medication comes with the entire decor!